i am here, at this juncture….
attempting to understand that my body is not a structure
but a moment in time.
i’m not even the real me
i’m just this idea of myself frozen in time…
…somewhat still resisting what change has to offer.
what i have been working on…
is not having expectations.
the only thing i can do is have an idea of what i want
then respect, nourish and love what is created.
expectations for painting and the rest of my life….
life is easier without external expectations.
the only thing i expect is my best.
i have no idea what shape or form my best will take.
my best has to be an entity of its own… outside of my own criticism.
we need to give ourselves space to grow.
the beauty and excitement of creation is in the development.
to get to this juncture, i had to learn not to fear the stages of the present.
the present isn’t permanent.
my body is not a place.
everything changes.